Doctors said...
Your son has autism, my mom was more confused than disappointed because she never heard of that disability. Of course, questions were asked, and the doctors replied to her falsely, in my case. They basically told my mom that I was going to be academically behind, and that it wouldn't be surprising if I had to repeat a grade or two, as well as extremely falling behind socially. Of course that's not true at all because I'm the top student in my class year, taking accelerated classes or classes that I'm ahead in, all without any additional help. Sure, I went against the odds, but I didn't escape the childhood experience that I had from my family because they believed what the doctors said, that I was going to be different. Sure, being different is nothing bad, but today I want to explain how my mom and my family completely altered my childhood because they believed what the doctors said.
Shortly after, my mom felt like she had to kiss goodbye her dreams of having a normal life, even though it shouldn't have been that way. She had to greatly alter stuff around the house according to lots of people that she talked to. I remember her having a bunch of fidget toys and chewy toys, but I never needed them (but I got to admit, it was kind of fun to play around with them). I always wanted a bunk bed because I wanted to experience the top portion of it. My mom never got me one however because the regional center told my mom that I might have fallen off the bunk bed. Lots of things that didn't have to be restricted, had to be because my mom got information from people who didn't realize my true personality. People, including my mom that I was high functioning, or Asperger's until another screening exam was given to me a few years later when I was in the first grade. So before I was given this news, my mom, and everyone else for that matter, wasn't treating me correctly. Therapists were giving me social cues and different skills that weren't meant for me, which is why I felt like they never worked in the beginning. Sure, this wasn't so bad, it was just a few changes that my mom had to make so I can adapt around the house better, but fast forward a few years to when school actually started.
School, the one place where my disability was supposed to get the best of me. I remember my elementary school years (and you guys probably do as well), and while I did fall behind socially, my personal strength in school was actually academic-wise. My mom was completely shocked when she heard that I was the best student in the class. Eventually, all of my hard work lead to me mainstreaming out of the special education classes. My mom went as far as saying if they hadn't done a mistake in mainstreaming me, because everything that the doctors told my mom was turning out to be false. At this point, I began to notice that people were treating me different, and saying stuff like I wouldn't be able to do things like a normal individual. You guys probably remember how I began a goal to prove everyone wrong and try to become a normal individual, but now I realize that being different is nothing to be ashamed of. Being academically skilled was nothing that any therapist showed me, or something that I had to master, it came from my own efforts. Something that I also never did throughout my school years was take advantage of my RSP support. Basically, since I'm special ed, I have certain advantages that I can use at any time. Some of them are, getting extra time to do homework, being able to use my notes during my test, I can just walk out of my classroom to go to my RSP teacher to help me, I've never used any of these advantages. So not only did I achieve these good grades, I achieved them like any other normal individual would.
The one place where I sort of did struggle in was becoming more social, but it wasn't really my disability that prevented me from achieving this. It was my desire to create paper crafts (go look at a previous blog if you don't know what this is), and it caused me from actually getting to know people in my classroom. Everyday until I was restricted from bringing my paper crafts (again, read a previous blog), I would for the most part work alone, separated from the class and unleash my creativity. At that time, my paper crafts were my main priority, and I didn't feel the need to actually create any relationships with kids that I didn't know, since that's the way that I saw this perspective. My cousins, helped me become strong socially in a way that they didn't intend to show me. This one day that I was visiting my cousins up at Central California, my three cousins, two that are older and one who's younger took me on a walk to a nearby shopping mall since they barely opened it. In this time, I still felt like making relationships was not as important as my paper crafts. We had walked two blocks and the oldest cousin asked me, "how was school?" I didn't want to respond, as I was too scared to say anything. This kept going on for the next five blocks, and at this point I felt like I regretted going with them to the mall (the only why I agreed in the first place was since the mall had a target, which I LOVED at the time). Finally, the younger cousin told me, your mom said you do something called paper crafts. Finally, something that I felt like responding to, as I simply said "ya, I do." At that instant, the remaining six blocks consisted of a long conversation based on my paper crafts and how amazing they were, which changed into what I was going to do for the rest of my summer break at one point. Breaking that silence with people that I didn't really see often, since I had conversations that I would never have with my mom nor my sister. Eventually, that boost in social strength led to my first best friend, Renato who moved to my school three months later (just read my third blog after this one), and we had a strong friendship for the entire first grade. My mom was completely shocked that I had made a best friend, and she even went to my school at one point to introduce him to her, since she thought that I was lying.
Yep, everything that my mom was suppose to live through in the future turned out to be nothing but a hoax, and around the eight grade, she finally let go of the past and began to foresee a new future. I've heard stories of doctors messing up so many times, and one of them comes from my cousin. They told him that he would barely be able to actually speak, but he would never in his entire lifetime be able to start a conversation with anyone. This held true for about three years, but he eventually began to create conversations with his mom, and that eventually spread to other family members. Today, he can basically converse like a normal individual (mostly), whenever he texts me, we can go as long as an hour of texting without him struggling to respond, and he even went as far as talking to some random people, which was a huge improvement over his family and friends, but today he can basically talk to anyone without getting nervous. I feel like if doctors were able to improve upon their way of foreseeing the individuals based on what they currently saw, then stories like these would slowly began to dissipate and another problem that autistic individuals currently face will slowly become a mere memory, but I guess only time can tell.
This blog helped me realized that I should continue to move forward, despite what others say, and I hope everything that is reading this can feel the same way. If you enjoyed this blog, please give it some support, comment down any suggestions or opinions that you might have, and give this page a follow if you've like to read my blogs before I announce them, which is a slight delay. As always, have a great day :)
Shortly after, my mom felt like she had to kiss goodbye her dreams of having a normal life, even though it shouldn't have been that way. She had to greatly alter stuff around the house according to lots of people that she talked to. I remember her having a bunch of fidget toys and chewy toys, but I never needed them (but I got to admit, it was kind of fun to play around with them). I always wanted a bunk bed because I wanted to experience the top portion of it. My mom never got me one however because the regional center told my mom that I might have fallen off the bunk bed. Lots of things that didn't have to be restricted, had to be because my mom got information from people who didn't realize my true personality. People, including my mom that I was high functioning, or Asperger's until another screening exam was given to me a few years later when I was in the first grade. So before I was given this news, my mom, and everyone else for that matter, wasn't treating me correctly. Therapists were giving me social cues and different skills that weren't meant for me, which is why I felt like they never worked in the beginning. Sure, this wasn't so bad, it was just a few changes that my mom had to make so I can adapt around the house better, but fast forward a few years to when school actually started.
School, the one place where my disability was supposed to get the best of me. I remember my elementary school years (and you guys probably do as well), and while I did fall behind socially, my personal strength in school was actually academic-wise. My mom was completely shocked when she heard that I was the best student in the class. Eventually, all of my hard work lead to me mainstreaming out of the special education classes. My mom went as far as saying if they hadn't done a mistake in mainstreaming me, because everything that the doctors told my mom was turning out to be false. At this point, I began to notice that people were treating me different, and saying stuff like I wouldn't be able to do things like a normal individual. You guys probably remember how I began a goal to prove everyone wrong and try to become a normal individual, but now I realize that being different is nothing to be ashamed of. Being academically skilled was nothing that any therapist showed me, or something that I had to master, it came from my own efforts. Something that I also never did throughout my school years was take advantage of my RSP support. Basically, since I'm special ed, I have certain advantages that I can use at any time. Some of them are, getting extra time to do homework, being able to use my notes during my test, I can just walk out of my classroom to go to my RSP teacher to help me, I've never used any of these advantages. So not only did I achieve these good grades, I achieved them like any other normal individual would.
The one place where I sort of did struggle in was becoming more social, but it wasn't really my disability that prevented me from achieving this. It was my desire to create paper crafts (go look at a previous blog if you don't know what this is), and it caused me from actually getting to know people in my classroom. Everyday until I was restricted from bringing my paper crafts (again, read a previous blog), I would for the most part work alone, separated from the class and unleash my creativity. At that time, my paper crafts were my main priority, and I didn't feel the need to actually create any relationships with kids that I didn't know, since that's the way that I saw this perspective. My cousins, helped me become strong socially in a way that they didn't intend to show me. This one day that I was visiting my cousins up at Central California, my three cousins, two that are older and one who's younger took me on a walk to a nearby shopping mall since they barely opened it. In this time, I still felt like making relationships was not as important as my paper crafts. We had walked two blocks and the oldest cousin asked me, "how was school?" I didn't want to respond, as I was too scared to say anything. This kept going on for the next five blocks, and at this point I felt like I regretted going with them to the mall (the only why I agreed in the first place was since the mall had a target, which I LOVED at the time). Finally, the younger cousin told me, your mom said you do something called paper crafts. Finally, something that I felt like responding to, as I simply said "ya, I do." At that instant, the remaining six blocks consisted of a long conversation based on my paper crafts and how amazing they were, which changed into what I was going to do for the rest of my summer break at one point. Breaking that silence with people that I didn't really see often, since I had conversations that I would never have with my mom nor my sister. Eventually, that boost in social strength led to my first best friend, Renato who moved to my school three months later (just read my third blog after this one), and we had a strong friendship for the entire first grade. My mom was completely shocked that I had made a best friend, and she even went to my school at one point to introduce him to her, since she thought that I was lying.
Yep, everything that my mom was suppose to live through in the future turned out to be nothing but a hoax, and around the eight grade, she finally let go of the past and began to foresee a new future. I've heard stories of doctors messing up so many times, and one of them comes from my cousin. They told him that he would barely be able to actually speak, but he would never in his entire lifetime be able to start a conversation with anyone. This held true for about three years, but he eventually began to create conversations with his mom, and that eventually spread to other family members. Today, he can basically converse like a normal individual (mostly), whenever he texts me, we can go as long as an hour of texting without him struggling to respond, and he even went as far as talking to some random people, which was a huge improvement over his family and friends, but today he can basically talk to anyone without getting nervous. I feel like if doctors were able to improve upon their way of foreseeing the individuals based on what they currently saw, then stories like these would slowly began to dissipate and another problem that autistic individuals currently face will slowly become a mere memory, but I guess only time can tell.
This blog helped me realized that I should continue to move forward, despite what others say, and I hope everything that is reading this can feel the same way. If you enjoyed this blog, please give it some support, comment down any suggestions or opinions that you might have, and give this page a follow if you've like to read my blogs before I announce them, which is a slight delay. As always, have a great day :)
Well you proved to everyone that you are more than capable, the thing is that yes autism causes struggles but what about all of the great things like the ability to focus on special interests with intensity, why can’t the positives be the main focus? Special interests should also be used as a way to learn social skills too, because when you recited the part about hanging out with your cousin, you struggled to socialise with him until he mentioned your paper crafs and then I imagine you probably didn’t stop talking XD
ReplyDeleteIt’s great that you are writing about your experiences, I think it must be so hard for you having to prove to your family & doctors etc. that actuallly you are capable, but just keep going and don’t let the assumptions get you down.
Changes do need to be made, and I think people on the spectrum need to strive for this! I’ll follow your blog :)
Please take a look at mine! https://lovinganasperger.wordpress.com