Embrace it
Unfortunately in today's society, people don't embrace people's gifts and talents. Instead, they decide to shoot us down with hate, discrimination, and violence. I for one realized this for a long time because people never appreciated my paper crafts that I did with I was smaller (read my fourth blog if you're confused), loved my caring and happy personality, or accepted my superior grades. My paper crafts were thrown away and laughed at, people only saw the disability side of me, and people doubted me that I would get the straight A's that I have today. Sure, my wish to be normal is understandable considering the fact that I've been discriminated so many times by so many people, but at the same time, being different is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not talking about my disability however, I'm talking about my lifestyle choices, my way of thinking, and my own desires. If people won't embrace my difference, at least try to accept me for who I am, don't change me into someone that I'm not.
Something that really made me stand out was when I would make paper crafts. I made a huge golden gate bridge, my own version of the statue of liberty, and so many other cities, landmarks, and buildings, that I feel sad that they ended up being thrown away. In a way this was due to my disability because I wasn't too sociable back then, but the majority was me showing off my creative side. Anyhow, my mom loved them. She would put them in our garage and at one point, more than half of the garage was filled with all of my paper crafts. I started these around kindergarten, and I really enjoyed making all of them until a month before the end of the first grade. If you guys remember me writing about my first grade experience, you guys should know that it's been the worst school year till date (Again, fourth blog also explains more). This was mainly due to the fact that the kids in there never liked me because I would receive "special treatment." By this I mean because I acted a different way, I had to be separated from the rest so I can do my own thing. They teased me, bullied me, and overall hated me, just like the other kids, except they were special ed, like me. At one point, I felt like they got jealous of me because I had such a amazing talent of making paper crafts. I decided to get my best ones (I remember one of them was a concert hall), and I putted them inside a bag for all the students to see. I told my mom that I was going to take them on a bag and she allowed me when I went to school the next day, but she didn't knew why I was doing this. As soon as class began, I threw out all of my paper crafts in front of the class, without even asking the teacher. She was confused as any kid was when they saw a beach made out of paper. The teacher asked "what is all of this?" I responded that these are my paper crafts and I make them during my free time. I forgot what the teacher did afterwards but the kids instantly laughed at me. I remember one of them said "they're so ugly" and another one said "this is what you do instead of playing video games." I kicked one of my paper crafts, destroying them in scene, and I ran away crying. It's sad that kids that were so similar to me didn't embrace my gift.
As time progressed, so did I. I remember in my third grade class, I scored proficient on my state exam for both English and Math, which was enough for me to enter the accelerated classes in the fourth grade. Out of the around 500 third graders, about a bit more than 50 scored proficient and less than 10 scored advance. One of the requirements was to score proficient on both tests, which, I, and my two best friends scored (one of my friends even scored advanced on English). I was ready to tackle the class the next school year, but my mom was contacted by the school that they wanted to see her. A few days later, the RSP teacher along with the vice principal were all together and ready to discuss something. I thought it was to congruate me for achieving such an amazing score, but I got a different story instead. They told my mom that even though I passed all the requirements for the accelerated class for next year, they asked that I could be an expectation to the class since I'm special ed. They basically said that the class was going to be way too hard for me and I should just stick with a normal class. I began to cry mainly for the reason that I wouldn't have my friends by my side the next school year. I told them yelling that I could've handled the class just fine and that I really wanted to take it. They didn't respond, so I ran outside crying a lot because even though I didn't realize it at the time, I was being discriminated. My mom signed the file to keep me in the normal classes even though she saw the scene that I made, and I didn't have my friends for the 4th or the 5th grade, since they continued on the accelerated program. I finally had them for a class in the 6th grade after two whole years, but at that point it was too late because the RSP teacher removed all of my privileges that I should've have regardless of any disability.
For this last example, I want to focus on something outside of school, a place where I thought people had my back and accepted me for who I am, until I was lied at. The regional center, I don't like the place at all and I never had, and never will, but before this certain event occurred, I found the place to be acceptable. When I was smaller, I used to visit the place about 4-6 times an year, and I would see lots of kids around my age, although I never realized that they were special ed, just like me. After losing complete interest on paper crafts and throwing about 70% of them away, I grew an interest of trains. I created my own train stations, train tracks, and the trains themselves. Around the fifth grade, I went to the regional center once again. While I was waiting for my mom to come from a room, I was waiting at the waiting room with no one there but the people who create the appointments inside a small room, which was inside the waiting room. I brought one of my trains with me, along with lots of train track parts, since my mom told me that I was going to be waiting for a long while. I kept yelling, "choo choo" for about 30 minutes straight without even feeling tired of doing so. Once my mom finally came along with the social worker, they took me back to the room where they were previously at. She excused herself for a few minutes and left elsewhere while me and my mom were waiting patiently. I counted my train pieces because I just had to, and I realized that one of them were missing. I told my mom that I was going to find my train piece at the waiting room and she allowed me to go find it. As I opened the door, I heard my social worker talking with someone. As I went to the waiting room and saw my social worker talking with the appointment creators, one of the appointment creators said that I was so annoying and she thought that I would never stop yelling "choo choo." Instead of my social worker defending me or even ignoring me, she instead says, "I know, he can get quite annoying." I found my train piece seconds before I ease dropped to their conversation, and I wanted to hear what they said because at this age, I was almost complete in realizing everything. My social worker saw me and asked why I was there. I said that I was finding my missing train piece. I'm pretty sure she didn't know that I ease dropped because I used to have a tendency of blacking out often, but I didn't because I had to realize that my social worker, the one person who understands why I did all of that, didn't have my back, and instead treats me like someone stupid, which I'm not, I'm different.
Did I get used to people not embracing my gifts, yep. Sure, it's bad to admit such a thing, but it's true and I came to the conclusion that people are going to treat me different, for either the better or worse. Trying to defend myself in any way possible helps, but the thing that will help me the most is trying to motivate myself to become a better person and doing whatever it takes to have people realize that I can do basically anything a normal individual can achieve, if not even better and greater. I've seen so many other people like me not getting the right treatment they deserve, and one of them is my cousin, who I have to defend the most because I care about him a lot. I really just wish that society can change their way of thinking and begin to accept us for who we are, because discriminating us isn't a better alternative
That's the end to my latest blog, as always I hope you enjoyed it. Give this page a follow if you want to be the first to read my blog before I announce it and comment any questions, or suggestions that you'll like to give me. As always, have a nice day :)
Something that really made me stand out was when I would make paper crafts. I made a huge golden gate bridge, my own version of the statue of liberty, and so many other cities, landmarks, and buildings, that I feel sad that they ended up being thrown away. In a way this was due to my disability because I wasn't too sociable back then, but the majority was me showing off my creative side. Anyhow, my mom loved them. She would put them in our garage and at one point, more than half of the garage was filled with all of my paper crafts. I started these around kindergarten, and I really enjoyed making all of them until a month before the end of the first grade. If you guys remember me writing about my first grade experience, you guys should know that it's been the worst school year till date (Again, fourth blog also explains more). This was mainly due to the fact that the kids in there never liked me because I would receive "special treatment." By this I mean because I acted a different way, I had to be separated from the rest so I can do my own thing. They teased me, bullied me, and overall hated me, just like the other kids, except they were special ed, like me. At one point, I felt like they got jealous of me because I had such a amazing talent of making paper crafts. I decided to get my best ones (I remember one of them was a concert hall), and I putted them inside a bag for all the students to see. I told my mom that I was going to take them on a bag and she allowed me when I went to school the next day, but she didn't knew why I was doing this. As soon as class began, I threw out all of my paper crafts in front of the class, without even asking the teacher. She was confused as any kid was when they saw a beach made out of paper. The teacher asked "what is all of this?" I responded that these are my paper crafts and I make them during my free time. I forgot what the teacher did afterwards but the kids instantly laughed at me. I remember one of them said "they're so ugly" and another one said "this is what you do instead of playing video games." I kicked one of my paper crafts, destroying them in scene, and I ran away crying. It's sad that kids that were so similar to me didn't embrace my gift.
As time progressed, so did I. I remember in my third grade class, I scored proficient on my state exam for both English and Math, which was enough for me to enter the accelerated classes in the fourth grade. Out of the around 500 third graders, about a bit more than 50 scored proficient and less than 10 scored advance. One of the requirements was to score proficient on both tests, which, I, and my two best friends scored (one of my friends even scored advanced on English). I was ready to tackle the class the next school year, but my mom was contacted by the school that they wanted to see her. A few days later, the RSP teacher along with the vice principal were all together and ready to discuss something. I thought it was to congruate me for achieving such an amazing score, but I got a different story instead. They told my mom that even though I passed all the requirements for the accelerated class for next year, they asked that I could be an expectation to the class since I'm special ed. They basically said that the class was going to be way too hard for me and I should just stick with a normal class. I began to cry mainly for the reason that I wouldn't have my friends by my side the next school year. I told them yelling that I could've handled the class just fine and that I really wanted to take it. They didn't respond, so I ran outside crying a lot because even though I didn't realize it at the time, I was being discriminated. My mom signed the file to keep me in the normal classes even though she saw the scene that I made, and I didn't have my friends for the 4th or the 5th grade, since they continued on the accelerated program. I finally had them for a class in the 6th grade after two whole years, but at that point it was too late because the RSP teacher removed all of my privileges that I should've have regardless of any disability.
For this last example, I want to focus on something outside of school, a place where I thought people had my back and accepted me for who I am, until I was lied at. The regional center, I don't like the place at all and I never had, and never will, but before this certain event occurred, I found the place to be acceptable. When I was smaller, I used to visit the place about 4-6 times an year, and I would see lots of kids around my age, although I never realized that they were special ed, just like me. After losing complete interest on paper crafts and throwing about 70% of them away, I grew an interest of trains. I created my own train stations, train tracks, and the trains themselves. Around the fifth grade, I went to the regional center once again. While I was waiting for my mom to come from a room, I was waiting at the waiting room with no one there but the people who create the appointments inside a small room, which was inside the waiting room. I brought one of my trains with me, along with lots of train track parts, since my mom told me that I was going to be waiting for a long while. I kept yelling, "choo choo" for about 30 minutes straight without even feeling tired of doing so. Once my mom finally came along with the social worker, they took me back to the room where they were previously at. She excused herself for a few minutes and left elsewhere while me and my mom were waiting patiently. I counted my train pieces because I just had to, and I realized that one of them were missing. I told my mom that I was going to find my train piece at the waiting room and she allowed me to go find it. As I opened the door, I heard my social worker talking with someone. As I went to the waiting room and saw my social worker talking with the appointment creators, one of the appointment creators said that I was so annoying and she thought that I would never stop yelling "choo choo." Instead of my social worker defending me or even ignoring me, she instead says, "I know, he can get quite annoying." I found my train piece seconds before I ease dropped to their conversation, and I wanted to hear what they said because at this age, I was almost complete in realizing everything. My social worker saw me and asked why I was there. I said that I was finding my missing train piece. I'm pretty sure she didn't know that I ease dropped because I used to have a tendency of blacking out often, but I didn't because I had to realize that my social worker, the one person who understands why I did all of that, didn't have my back, and instead treats me like someone stupid, which I'm not, I'm different.
Did I get used to people not embracing my gifts, yep. Sure, it's bad to admit such a thing, but it's true and I came to the conclusion that people are going to treat me different, for either the better or worse. Trying to defend myself in any way possible helps, but the thing that will help me the most is trying to motivate myself to become a better person and doing whatever it takes to have people realize that I can do basically anything a normal individual can achieve, if not even better and greater. I've seen so many other people like me not getting the right treatment they deserve, and one of them is my cousin, who I have to defend the most because I care about him a lot. I really just wish that society can change their way of thinking and begin to accept us for who we are, because discriminating us isn't a better alternative
That's the end to my latest blog, as always I hope you enjoyed it. Give this page a follow if you want to be the first to read my blog before I announce it and comment any questions, or suggestions that you'll like to give me. As always, have a nice day :)
Am reading this on the go and cannot respond appropriately but I wish you would make paper art again and post it online on IG - or maybe you have and I haven't seen them yet �� I also love trains ��
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