Overlooked

    Yes I'm high-functioning, or categorized as Asperger's, or however you want to call it. In fact, I'm even on the edge of the autism scale, meaning that I'm really close to actually being considered normal. That doesn't mean life is easy for me however. I face lots of problems and obstacles in my life daily. While a few of them are related to my disability, most of them are related to my normal life, being family problems, adjusting from being a teenager to a young adult, and a slew of other ones, it would be a long list. It's weird how lots of parents with autistic children would want them to be at least at a scale like mine, but my problems are actually even greater than others. My cousin who has mild autism doesn't worry about what others think about him, nor does his family treat him like someone inferior, he lives the life I wish I had. Basically, see it this way. I have to go through problems based on my disability, being RSP (something I hate a lot), discrimination from people you probably know if you've been reading my past blogs, and proving people wrong. I also have problems coming from my normal lifestyle side being family problems, school stress and worries due to multiple AP/accelerated classes, and worrying about my future. It's more troubles that I have because of where I currently stand. In today's blog, I want to explain more about high-functioning autism and how it affects me in every aspect.

    First of all, I'm not the individual that fits all of the current stereotypes at all. I do have emotions, I do respond to others, I do like having interactions to others, I have no idea where people get these ideas from. I don't have all the characteristics of someone with Asperger's however. Like I mentioned before, my disability is almost non-existent, due to the fact that it only really affects me in two main ways, and even then it's not too much. Firstly, I have trouble trying new foods. I don't really like having a variety, but even then that's not a issue, since I like enough foods to actually be in the open and not worry about what foods they sell in a restaurant. Lastly, I'm afraid to a certain sound, but just one: Thunder. Thankfully when there's a thunderstorm (which there isn't many where I live), I either cover my ears, or grab some headphones and listen to loud music. I don't yell or jump or anything like that when there's a thunderstorm. That's literally it, I'm socially fine, academically fine, you name it. Like I said, that's just me, other people with the same disability would tell you a different story. Sounds good, right? A teenager who's basically normal and can be out and about, well you're wrong. I face many daily problems. My family doesn't accept me for who I am. My mom doesn't appreciate my hard work and never makes the time to support me and understand me. My aunts and uncles (ya there still a problem) have made fun of me in the past, many of which were autistic-related jokes because they thought they were able to take advantage of me and say these things to me. My cousins don't like talking about this topic, and they don't like being aware about my disability. My friends don't even know about my disability, because I'm afraid to tell them based on the fact that I've seen their lack of awareness based on autism, and they confuse the disability for a retarded person. So if I were ever to tell them that I was autistic, they would see me as a crazy person. I don't like being surrounded by these people, being my type of people are those with a vision of improving the world and making a change, as well as caring for others. I know it's kind of harsh saying that I don't like my own blood, but the type of the people that they are, and how they act towards me, can you really blame me? I have to go through many more problems just because my family doesn't take the time to get to know me better and accept me for who I am.

    And that comes to my next topic, ignorance. This comes from everyone who knows me, so my problems only get bigger from here. Many people think I'm stupid since I have a disability. I get straight A's in school, so I don't understand where they get that from. Even my own school doesn't appreciate my hard work, despite actually seeing it in front of their eyes. They see my hard work, good grades, and determination, yet they still send RSP teachers to my classroom to ask me if I need any help in my work. In IEP's they give me childish goals that I surpassed within months, and they act like it was a impossible task to complete. Just in school alone the amount of ignorance that many staff members have towards me is huge. They don't do any effort as to actually asking my teachers about my performance so they can actually be informed, they just assume stuff. It gets even worst from here. Last week, I actually witnessed something going on while my dad was paying for mine and his cellphone at a local Sprint store. I was charging my phone from a charger from another phone on display, when a mom and what seemed to be a 4 year old boy with her. Less than a minute in the store and the kid starts running around the store yelling and aggressively using the phones. The mom says causally "He's autistic, he doesn't know what he's doing." I kind of had a idea that he was autistic, based on my observing's, but the way that his mom said the words was all wrong. "He doesn't know what he's doing?" It should've been "He's just a little bit overactive, I'll calm him down right now." I couldn't believe that I understood the kid more than his mother. Of course I wasn't watching them, I was just listening to what they were saying (ya the kid was verbal, and he was responding to his mom in many ways). I eventually turned around when I heard something fall on the ground. When I did, the kid had gone through a meltdown and the mom was trying anything to calm him down. Everyone in the store was looking at them as if he was a spoiled brat, my dad included. I know what he went through, as I went through a couple of those in the past, so I understood him perfectly fine. I'd imagine this happening in many other places with different kids, and what gets me made is the amount of ignorance that occurs when these type of events happen. The thing that gets me really angry is when people confuse meltdowns for tantrums, or worst, a spoiled kid who wants something badly. Many people walking in the streets are that ignorant, and it surprises me that I, a teenager, with the disability itself is way more aware on the disability. (I would share my problems with my aunts and uncles but I'm pretty sure you guys know what happened there, plus it brings back bad flashbacks).

    Society is bad. They don't see any good in you. They don't value anything that you do. You'd be considered lucky if you find someone that truly cares about you. My society consists of people that don't understand that just because I'm autistic doesn't mean I can't do what others can. It also means people that will try anything for you to fit in with the rest of the world because you don't belong with them. People don't understand that I'm fully capable of doing normal things, if not even more. What do I consider my society. It ranges from random citizens in a busy city, to my own family that knows a lot about me. I hadn't found anyone that actually sees my potential or values my work. My blogging came from my own idea of spreading autism awareness, no one inspired me to do this. Why you may ask? No one that I'm come across from truly understands me. No one values me. No one understands what I'm going through. From seeing my own perspective and what I have been through in the past, to seeing a completely different person going through what I go through, it really hurts me. There's many people that embrace autism awareness and acceptance, props to them. However, there's still a huge number of people that still don't make any effort as to understanding autism more. I've come to the point that I must understand every aspect of myself better to understand myself better, since no one is willing to help me. There's many people that consider us stupid, inferior, and many other things that are completely wrong. I've went through it in the past, so I can say this in full confidence. I go through many people, both because of my disability and also because of daily problems. I may have listed a fraction of the amount of problems that I have to go through, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is living in a world where people are so ignorant about your well-being. People that are so fake and you can't do anything to get them off you or separate yourself from them, no matter how much you try. I might be High-functioning, but I go through problems that many others go through every day as a result of society. Sure, being different isn't a bad thing at all to embrace, but it really becomes a challenge to accept your differences when society overlooks you true personality.

    I hope you enjoy today's blog. I really liked this one because it shows that just because I'm High-functioning doesn't mean that I don't face problems that other individuals on the spectrum would face. Remember that I'm blogging to prevent others from experiencing the same thing that I had to go through when I was younger. If you enjoyed this blog, why not comment down any comments that you may have. Also, why not follow my blog site so you can be the first to get notified about my new posts. As always, have a great day :)