Beyond the fundamentals
Meltdowns, struggles in communication, and various types of regressions are common among the autism community. Those are the type of areas that people tend to observe the most, since it's very common. However, their are many more traits out there. When I was younger, they only told my mom the main areas of autism, so many 'odd' things that I did that they didn't mention to her seemed like a bad thing to her, and I would be punished as a result. My cousin is in the same boat as well, as his mom would call these smaller traits 'oddities' and would tell him to stop them. I never knew that these uncommon traits were a part of me, so when I finally found out, I was relieved to know that I wasn't being "rude" or "disobedient" or "lazy" (basically any type of discrimination people would bash at someone autistic), it was a part of me. In today's blog, I'm going to disclose some autistic traits of mine that aren't very common among the autistic community, and how I cope with them with myself and the community.
One trait that both me and my cousin had for a very long time was difficulty tying shoes. You might be thinking, this could be part of a slight motor skill regression. The thing is, motor skill regressions usually affect all motor skill aspects, not just one in particular. Plus, I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11 years old. I was halfway through middle school and I still wouldn't learn how to tie my shoes. Trust me when I say it was very terrible having to learn from the regional center, a place that I already hate and it was bad enough being forced to go, having my mom show me pictures, tell me steps, it became stressful knowing that I was trying my best to learn, I really was, but all the stress of my aunts and uncles calling me worthless trash for not learning how to tie my shoes (they even compared me to my other cousins), and my mom and the regional center basically forcing me to at least try, made things worst. I myself didn't know that this was a trait of autism, so I just assumed I wasn't meant to learn how to tie my shoes. Eventually, I just made my sister tie my shoes before I ever went to school (and hope they wouldn't untangle at anytime during school). I remember once during the 6th grade, I was hanging out with my friends (the old ones, ugh), and one of them asked me to tie their shoes. I didn't want to refuse and tell them that I didn't know how to tie shoes (I was going through a lot, the least I wanted was to be a laughingstock at school), so I had to improvise. I began to 'tie' her shoes together, except I was doing it completely wrong. When I was 'done', I quickly walked away saying "I have to use the restroom, I'll be right back." As I was walking away, all I heard from her was "this isn't right." My cousin knew where I was coming from when I would tell him my experience of learning how to tie my shoes. He would tell me that his ABA therapist would bring a doll specially to learn how to learn motor skills. The doll had a button up shirt, a zipper, some gloves, and of course, the shoe laces (he had more motor skill regressions). He said the only one he could nail was the zipper, but everything else was a complete mess and it was very stressful for him. I didn't want to get mad at him saying "you find this stressful, try having a entire family bashing you with hateful opinions" since I knew how he felt about the whole not being able to tie shoes. I don't remember when this was, but eventually I learned how to tie my shoes. All I know is that when 7th grade was about to end, my mom brought me new shoes and I was very happy about these pair because they were the first ones that I actually knew how to tie on my own. As for my cousin, he barely learned how to tie his shoes last year, but like me, we're glad that we were able to prove people wrong.
This next one is probably one that even less people have heard of: the inability to learn sarcasm/irony. This was mainly throughout my late elementary school years, since I remember how since we were in the 5th grade, people thought it was 'cool' to use 'wicked' vocabulary. One moment in particular was when I was going to present a project in class, and as I was going up to the front of the class, my friend tells me "break a leg." I stand in place and I yell out unnecessarily "what is wrong with you!" Everyone stared at me, and the teacher asked "what's wrong?" I said feeling like I was going to resolve the problem "my friend told me to break a leg, he's being mean." The entire class starts cracking up in laughter and I was confused as to why they started laughing at me. The teacher took me out of the classroom and she said "that means good luck, have you never heard of that?" I asked "how does break a leg mean good luck?" The teacher replied "oh I see." (at that point she knew what happened). Another time was when I was eating lunch with my friends towards the last few days of 5th grade. I told my friends that in my class we were going to throw a pizza party and that I was excited. As the bell to enter class rung, my friend said "I hope you have a ball at the pizza party." I never felt more confused in my life, I assumed that I guess I forgot that they were going to throw balls at the party so I said to my friend "Ya, I'm going to try and catch a bunch of them." As I was walking away, my friend said "what?" When the pizza party was being held, I noticed that they weren't any balls being thrown around, so I went up to my other friend and asked him "where are the balls, I don't see any." He said "what are you talking about?" I completely ignore him and I go up to my teacher to ask "Mr., when are their going to be balls?" He said "what are talking about, we're not going to have any balls." Then I said "my friend told me to have a ball at the party." He then said "oh, that means to have a good time." Again, I didn't understand how have a ball and have a good time meant the exact same thing. These are just a blur of many times where I confused sarcasm/irony and related it to real life (there's a funny story where I was in the spelling bee and I was against one person left and the announcer said "this is for all the marbles" and when I won I asked where my marbles were but since it was obvious that I didn't get any, I began to cry for a couple of minutes cause I didn't get my 'promised' marbles), and it's a trait that many other people on the autism spectrum have. Now if you saw this and found it new to you, this next trait of mine will shock you away from how random it is.
This last one that I'm going to list for the blog today is extremely random, because it's very simple to explain yet I tend to mix it up in various ways. I would take instructions seriously. First of all, this is just another alternation in my motor skills, second, yes that's really it. You might be confused as to what I mean by, take instructions 'seriously,' isn't that what you would have to do? A example(s) would be in elementary school where I would write name where it said name rather than my actual name. I know, that seems silly and all, but I didn't realize that what I was doing was incorrect because I would follow the colon after the word name and assume that I would have to rewrite it. At first the the teachers, and eventually the counselor getting involved in this, thought that I was playing around with them, but when it came to them testing me, they realized that I wasn't actually kidding. Another example(s) is when whenever I would work on a worksheet and the instructions said "write..." I would write whatever was after the word write, so pretty much coping and pasting. The habit of mine lasted throughout the majority of my elementary school years (not counting the last elementary school), and even though it seemed like a small thing, everyone at my school took it very seriously and I had to undergo tests from the RSP room to see if I didn't have any other 'disabilities' (long story short I didn't). I never realized that everything from the not being able to tie my shoes to taking directions seriously was part of my autism until around middle school. So throughout the time before middle school, I would think to myself, why am I alive, my aunts and uncles say I don't belong in this world, and I should just give up. These 'oddities' that I had really made me feel like trash because I blamed myself for the way I was. Of course, their are many other uncommon traits of autism that people go through, but I just wanted to go through the ones that I've experienced so I could give my own perspective of my personal experiences, rather than basing it off someone else's experiences. These are some traits that like any other autistic trait, I have very little to no control at all. So what people call 'oddities,' hurts me in a way because even if I wanted to, I have no option but to remain 'odd.' Sure, even though those traits are far gone now, I still look back to those days and wonder, why would people make a kid, a kid like me make me feel inferior from everyone else just because of who I am. It did give me a bumpy childhood, but hey, I learned so much from it.
That's the end of today's blog, I hope you guys learned lots of new details about uncommon traits that some autistic individuals may display. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed my blog, make sure to leave a common here if you have any questions or comments. Also, consider following my page so you get a notification about my latest blogs, meaning that you will be able to read my newest blogs before the others get to. As always, have a nice day :)
One trait that both me and my cousin had for a very long time was difficulty tying shoes. You might be thinking, this could be part of a slight motor skill regression. The thing is, motor skill regressions usually affect all motor skill aspects, not just one in particular. Plus, I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11 years old. I was halfway through middle school and I still wouldn't learn how to tie my shoes. Trust me when I say it was very terrible having to learn from the regional center, a place that I already hate and it was bad enough being forced to go, having my mom show me pictures, tell me steps, it became stressful knowing that I was trying my best to learn, I really was, but all the stress of my aunts and uncles calling me worthless trash for not learning how to tie my shoes (they even compared me to my other cousins), and my mom and the regional center basically forcing me to at least try, made things worst. I myself didn't know that this was a trait of autism, so I just assumed I wasn't meant to learn how to tie my shoes. Eventually, I just made my sister tie my shoes before I ever went to school (and hope they wouldn't untangle at anytime during school). I remember once during the 6th grade, I was hanging out with my friends (the old ones, ugh), and one of them asked me to tie their shoes. I didn't want to refuse and tell them that I didn't know how to tie shoes (I was going through a lot, the least I wanted was to be a laughingstock at school), so I had to improvise. I began to 'tie' her shoes together, except I was doing it completely wrong. When I was 'done', I quickly walked away saying "I have to use the restroom, I'll be right back." As I was walking away, all I heard from her was "this isn't right." My cousin knew where I was coming from when I would tell him my experience of learning how to tie my shoes. He would tell me that his ABA therapist would bring a doll specially to learn how to learn motor skills. The doll had a button up shirt, a zipper, some gloves, and of course, the shoe laces (he had more motor skill regressions). He said the only one he could nail was the zipper, but everything else was a complete mess and it was very stressful for him. I didn't want to get mad at him saying "you find this stressful, try having a entire family bashing you with hateful opinions" since I knew how he felt about the whole not being able to tie shoes. I don't remember when this was, but eventually I learned how to tie my shoes. All I know is that when 7th grade was about to end, my mom brought me new shoes and I was very happy about these pair because they were the first ones that I actually knew how to tie on my own. As for my cousin, he barely learned how to tie his shoes last year, but like me, we're glad that we were able to prove people wrong.
This next one is probably one that even less people have heard of: the inability to learn sarcasm/irony. This was mainly throughout my late elementary school years, since I remember how since we were in the 5th grade, people thought it was 'cool' to use 'wicked' vocabulary. One moment in particular was when I was going to present a project in class, and as I was going up to the front of the class, my friend tells me "break a leg." I stand in place and I yell out unnecessarily "what is wrong with you!" Everyone stared at me, and the teacher asked "what's wrong?" I said feeling like I was going to resolve the problem "my friend told me to break a leg, he's being mean." The entire class starts cracking up in laughter and I was confused as to why they started laughing at me. The teacher took me out of the classroom and she said "that means good luck, have you never heard of that?" I asked "how does break a leg mean good luck?" The teacher replied "oh I see." (at that point she knew what happened). Another time was when I was eating lunch with my friends towards the last few days of 5th grade. I told my friends that in my class we were going to throw a pizza party and that I was excited. As the bell to enter class rung, my friend said "I hope you have a ball at the pizza party." I never felt more confused in my life, I assumed that I guess I forgot that they were going to throw balls at the party so I said to my friend "Ya, I'm going to try and catch a bunch of them." As I was walking away, my friend said "what?" When the pizza party was being held, I noticed that they weren't any balls being thrown around, so I went up to my other friend and asked him "where are the balls, I don't see any." He said "what are you talking about?" I completely ignore him and I go up to my teacher to ask "Mr., when are their going to be balls?" He said "what are talking about, we're not going to have any balls." Then I said "my friend told me to have a ball at the party." He then said "oh, that means to have a good time." Again, I didn't understand how have a ball and have a good time meant the exact same thing. These are just a blur of many times where I confused sarcasm/irony and related it to real life (there's a funny story where I was in the spelling bee and I was against one person left and the announcer said "this is for all the marbles" and when I won I asked where my marbles were but since it was obvious that I didn't get any, I began to cry for a couple of minutes cause I didn't get my 'promised' marbles), and it's a trait that many other people on the autism spectrum have. Now if you saw this and found it new to you, this next trait of mine will shock you away from how random it is.
This last one that I'm going to list for the blog today is extremely random, because it's very simple to explain yet I tend to mix it up in various ways. I would take instructions seriously. First of all, this is just another alternation in my motor skills, second, yes that's really it. You might be confused as to what I mean by, take instructions 'seriously,' isn't that what you would have to do? A example(s) would be in elementary school where I would write name where it said name rather than my actual name. I know, that seems silly and all, but I didn't realize that what I was doing was incorrect because I would follow the colon after the word name and assume that I would have to rewrite it. At first the the teachers, and eventually the counselor getting involved in this, thought that I was playing around with them, but when it came to them testing me, they realized that I wasn't actually kidding. Another example(s) is when whenever I would work on a worksheet and the instructions said "write..." I would write whatever was after the word write, so pretty much coping and pasting. The habit of mine lasted throughout the majority of my elementary school years (not counting the last elementary school), and even though it seemed like a small thing, everyone at my school took it very seriously and I had to undergo tests from the RSP room to see if I didn't have any other 'disabilities' (long story short I didn't). I never realized that everything from the not being able to tie my shoes to taking directions seriously was part of my autism until around middle school. So throughout the time before middle school, I would think to myself, why am I alive, my aunts and uncles say I don't belong in this world, and I should just give up. These 'oddities' that I had really made me feel like trash because I blamed myself for the way I was. Of course, their are many other uncommon traits of autism that people go through, but I just wanted to go through the ones that I've experienced so I could give my own perspective of my personal experiences, rather than basing it off someone else's experiences. These are some traits that like any other autistic trait, I have very little to no control at all. So what people call 'oddities,' hurts me in a way because even if I wanted to, I have no option but to remain 'odd.' Sure, even though those traits are far gone now, I still look back to those days and wonder, why would people make a kid, a kid like me make me feel inferior from everyone else just because of who I am. It did give me a bumpy childhood, but hey, I learned so much from it.
That's the end of today's blog, I hope you guys learned lots of new details about uncommon traits that some autistic individuals may display. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed my blog, make sure to leave a common here if you have any questions or comments. Also, consider following my page so you get a notification about my latest blogs, meaning that you will be able to read my newest blogs before the others get to. As always, have a nice day :)
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