My story unfolds
Secret, if there was a way to describe my whole life up to know, it would be a secret life. Having to hide my true identity from basically the whole world, being someone who I'm really not, making sure that every second of my life I try to achieve that goal of fitting in with the rest of the normal community, and I am achieving it so far. Having the ability of achieving high GPA's, high IQ's, high social skills, high creativity skills, even high skills that seem rather useless such as high sneaky skills (it could be rather useful sometimes). Although my friends don't know the truth, random strangers who see me taking a peaceful stroll every day don't know the truth, I know the truth and that's enough to keep me up my feet and making sure that every last piece of the truth stays locked behind bars. Ever since the second grade when I found out the truth, I have never been quite comfortable with even just a random stranger asking "is anything wrong with him?" I get so angry that I feel like ripping their eyeballs out (I feel that intimated). Anything else like knowing that I'm in a RSP group (this never helps me as I never need the help at all) or seeing the words DISABILIED in bold font on my TAP card, it's all an unnecessary insult for me. I have never acted autistic like, and if I do it isn't in the obvious ways. I don't like being called this because if others hear, they'll uncover the truth which would otherwise been a secret if not done. I don't look autistic by any means, I don't have weird facial expressions, I don't walk weird, I don't show any signs basically. Heck, I could literary be in a group of another hundred normal teenagers and you wouldn't be able to tell me apart until I say the truth. You might be asking, he doesn't act autistic at all, but he's categorized as it, so how is this possible? You're right, but their is a reason to why I'm only about two points into the autistic scale (two points into the scale is pretty much nothing in my belief compared to the hundreds of points ahead, pretty sure the scale ends around 110-125 so I'm extremely low on that note) and there are only two signs of me being autistic. Keep in mind that I don't show these signs frequently and while they are signs of autism, they aren't as huge as other kids would have it (one of them is barely noticeable).
This first shouldn't come to surprise when you hear about autism: it's lack of diverse food choices. Yep, I know that even kids with a higher autistic scale beat me to this but it's still something that I struggle with, but only in my house and not much outside of the house. I eat quite a variety of food around the house, but some foods I don't really enjoy or just don't eat in general. One for example is eggs, supposed to be a breakfast general but I always substitute them for pancakes, waffles, cereal, etc. Another thing that I dislike is strawberries. Favorite fruit for others, but not for me. Perhaps the biggest group of the list would be meats, chicken, seafood, etc. I would consider myself a vegetarian for this but there are a few meats that I do enjoy. Some meats include bacon, beef, and rarely chicken. Textures may play a factor in this but if they do, it rarely does. Anyways, whenever I see chicken being served in the cafeteria, I always avoid it and choose something else (or maybe it's just that school food is terrible nonetheless). There are a few times about 2-3 times a month where I don't eat any school food because I don't like what they're serving, so I either buy food from the vending machines or I drink water (but I always eat/drink something during lunch). Regardless of this, I do enjoy many foods and it's very rare when I loved a certain food but later disliked it. For example, I once ate a French toast at Ihop and I guess my stomach wasn't expecting it so I ended up throwing up at the restaurant and I never eaten it since then (about 4-5 years ago. Another factor was that it included eggs, and that made me hate both foods even more and also explained why French toast didn't taste so good on it's own. Like I said, I enjoy about 80% of all foods that my family eats (nothing out of the ordinary like rich customs). So, if I somehow don't receive like 2 out of the 10 dishes of foods that I dislike throughout a long time period, this symptom is out of the way.
If you thought the last one wasn't too bad, this one is barely noticeable and probably only occurs about once about every three months (or depending on how mother nature feels) and that is sounds. This is another autistic symptom but like the last one, this one is also pretty low by standards, and occurs even less. I never got afraid by hearing other people's conversation, occasional fire truck, or loud concert, it has to do with very loud and unexpected sounds, and only one item fits the description: thunder and lighting. Thank goodness I don't live in tornado alley, because if I were this would've been more frequent. Although this is the only sound I fear right now, I used to be afraid of other unexpected sounds. One huge example was the school's fire drill. Once a month in my Elementary school (the one that I went to after 2nd grade. If you didn't read this, go to my first blog), their would used to be a fire drill and the noise would get me so scared, that I would once in a while stress sweat. This was every month for four years and I sometimes told my mom if I wouldn't go to school the day of the fire drills (this sound is the only expectation of being unexpected). Out of the four years, I was probably only able to convince her about seven times and I avoided those seven times luckily. After the fifth grade, the intermediate school (sixth grade) didn't believe in fire drills and I never heard them ever since. Actually, I lied, they did. Unlike the ten times during a school year though, it was only once a year that I heard them in my three years of intermediate school, and two of them were unintentional. The first one was during the sixth and it was right near the end of the sixth grade so you could just consider it two years since my last fire drill if you ignore a month. When I heard the fire alarm loud and clear, I remembered how scary the alarm could be, but this time it wasn't enough for me to cover my ears. After this, the next one was on the start of the seventh grade but unlike the first one in the sixth grade, this one wasn't planned. When I heard it, I was surprised into hearing the alarm but I didn't even get scared which was quite surprising. After the seventh grade, the fear of fire drills came to an end. Another unexpected sound that I ended quicker were fireworks. I didn't fear the sound of small ones, but maybe once the fireworks get more stronger, it changes in story. I don't really remember how this sound doesn't scare me anymore, but guessing how I go to a fireworks show on the fourth of July...ya now it makes sense. The only other sound that scares me to this date is thunder. During a upcoming thunderstorm, I sense the fear that I will receive but I ignore it afterwards, but when the time comes, it's go time. Every time I see a lighting strike appear, that gives me two-three seconds to cover my ears and brace for action. I don't know why this is the only sound I still fear but I feel like it's extremely loud and I hate hearing the rumble each time. Thankfully, I live in Southern California, and thunderstorms only occur about four times a year.
If you were to ignore these ONLY two symptoms, I would be considered normal, but actually considered normal from my family and others who know me quite well. It's a dream that I have but even if I fix these two symptoms, I would still be considered autistic and my family will still consider me different. There's probably another also minor symptom that I have and it's slight personality change since I like a few things that other average teenagers don't such as adventuring, making stuff out of paper, and being an autistic advocate. This doesn't really count though as many people act differently due to their personality, and normal or not normal, you guys have your different views and likes. So now you know how autistic I really am, and even if they're rather minor, I realize that I still have to work on them so afterwards it could be a distant memory.
Another end to another blog, I tried my best to give you guys an in-depth review of my autistic showings and if any of you guys have any other questions that you might have, feel free to comment away. Either way, you could comment if you're dying to share an opinion or just a small detail that you might want to point out. Also, follow my page if you wouldn't want to miss out on my latest blogs.
This first shouldn't come to surprise when you hear about autism: it's lack of diverse food choices. Yep, I know that even kids with a higher autistic scale beat me to this but it's still something that I struggle with, but only in my house and not much outside of the house. I eat quite a variety of food around the house, but some foods I don't really enjoy or just don't eat in general. One for example is eggs, supposed to be a breakfast general but I always substitute them for pancakes, waffles, cereal, etc. Another thing that I dislike is strawberries. Favorite fruit for others, but not for me. Perhaps the biggest group of the list would be meats, chicken, seafood, etc. I would consider myself a vegetarian for this but there are a few meats that I do enjoy. Some meats include bacon, beef, and rarely chicken. Textures may play a factor in this but if they do, it rarely does. Anyways, whenever I see chicken being served in the cafeteria, I always avoid it and choose something else (or maybe it's just that school food is terrible nonetheless). There are a few times about 2-3 times a month where I don't eat any school food because I don't like what they're serving, so I either buy food from the vending machines or I drink water (but I always eat/drink something during lunch). Regardless of this, I do enjoy many foods and it's very rare when I loved a certain food but later disliked it. For example, I once ate a French toast at Ihop and I guess my stomach wasn't expecting it so I ended up throwing up at the restaurant and I never eaten it since then (about 4-5 years ago. Another factor was that it included eggs, and that made me hate both foods even more and also explained why French toast didn't taste so good on it's own. Like I said, I enjoy about 80% of all foods that my family eats (nothing out of the ordinary like rich customs). So, if I somehow don't receive like 2 out of the 10 dishes of foods that I dislike throughout a long time period, this symptom is out of the way.
If you thought the last one wasn't too bad, this one is barely noticeable and probably only occurs about once about every three months (or depending on how mother nature feels) and that is sounds. This is another autistic symptom but like the last one, this one is also pretty low by standards, and occurs even less. I never got afraid by hearing other people's conversation, occasional fire truck, or loud concert, it has to do with very loud and unexpected sounds, and only one item fits the description: thunder and lighting. Thank goodness I don't live in tornado alley, because if I were this would've been more frequent. Although this is the only sound I fear right now, I used to be afraid of other unexpected sounds. One huge example was the school's fire drill. Once a month in my Elementary school (the one that I went to after 2nd grade. If you didn't read this, go to my first blog), their would used to be a fire drill and the noise would get me so scared, that I would once in a while stress sweat. This was every month for four years and I sometimes told my mom if I wouldn't go to school the day of the fire drills (this sound is the only expectation of being unexpected). Out of the four years, I was probably only able to convince her about seven times and I avoided those seven times luckily. After the fifth grade, the intermediate school (sixth grade) didn't believe in fire drills and I never heard them ever since. Actually, I lied, they did. Unlike the ten times during a school year though, it was only once a year that I heard them in my three years of intermediate school, and two of them were unintentional. The first one was during the sixth and it was right near the end of the sixth grade so you could just consider it two years since my last fire drill if you ignore a month. When I heard the fire alarm loud and clear, I remembered how scary the alarm could be, but this time it wasn't enough for me to cover my ears. After this, the next one was on the start of the seventh grade but unlike the first one in the sixth grade, this one wasn't planned. When I heard it, I was surprised into hearing the alarm but I didn't even get scared which was quite surprising. After the seventh grade, the fear of fire drills came to an end. Another unexpected sound that I ended quicker were fireworks. I didn't fear the sound of small ones, but maybe once the fireworks get more stronger, it changes in story. I don't really remember how this sound doesn't scare me anymore, but guessing how I go to a fireworks show on the fourth of July...ya now it makes sense. The only other sound that scares me to this date is thunder. During a upcoming thunderstorm, I sense the fear that I will receive but I ignore it afterwards, but when the time comes, it's go time. Every time I see a lighting strike appear, that gives me two-three seconds to cover my ears and brace for action. I don't know why this is the only sound I still fear but I feel like it's extremely loud and I hate hearing the rumble each time. Thankfully, I live in Southern California, and thunderstorms only occur about four times a year.
If you were to ignore these ONLY two symptoms, I would be considered normal, but actually considered normal from my family and others who know me quite well. It's a dream that I have but even if I fix these two symptoms, I would still be considered autistic and my family will still consider me different. There's probably another also minor symptom that I have and it's slight personality change since I like a few things that other average teenagers don't such as adventuring, making stuff out of paper, and being an autistic advocate. This doesn't really count though as many people act differently due to their personality, and normal or not normal, you guys have your different views and likes. So now you know how autistic I really am, and even if they're rather minor, I realize that I still have to work on them so afterwards it could be a distant memory.
Another end to another blog, I tried my best to give you guys an in-depth review of my autistic showings and if any of you guys have any other questions that you might have, feel free to comment away. Either way, you could comment if you're dying to share an opinion or just a small detail that you might want to point out. Also, follow my page if you wouldn't want to miss out on my latest blogs.
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