Isolated by the verge
It's been months since I've been writing blogs, and that's mainly due to the fact that I was in summer school. If you didn't read any earlier blogs, I was selected out of 623 high school freshman (and 8 others) to be in a accelerated class which grants me another accelerated class for my sophomore year. It was a great experience mainly since I actually had to take that class at another school (I was actually before I signed up for this certain class that there was a possibly that it was going to be in another school, but I still agreed since it was a great opportunity to resist. On the bright side, the other school was only 6 blocks away from my main school) and how since there was 41 students in that class, their were students from different schools and I was able to meet so many people, some which I talked to a lot, and some I rarely talked to. What was most exciting was that I had my best friend Jake in that class (were both extreme nerds) and I was glad that we could study together and hang out for the next 6 weeks to come. A few days passed and since I finished my test a few minutes after school (which wasn't suppose to happen), all the kids left and me and about five others were still finishing our final answers. I completed my test momentary and since my teacher left quickly towards the restroom, I waited at the front of the class to give my test to the teacher. My teacher was grading tests and was inputting the grades into her laptop, so I quickly took a peek at her laptop to quickly check my current grade (a terrible habit of mine that is actually quite handy). After I checked my grade, I also saw other people's names, grades, and ID's. But I noticed something odd about my ID (not so shocking). I noticed that the letters CL were next to my ID which is short for collaboration which is a type of a special ed individual who is in regular ed classes.
This was so bad of me to do but I quickly went closer towards her laptop and before my teacher arrived, I went closer towards her laptop and quickly scrolled across the page to check everyone's ID. After I did so, no one had the code CL, LC (another type of collaboration), or SDC (a special ed student who has all special ed classes but I wasn't expecting that anyways). That in itself basically confirmed that I was the only special ed student in that class, which isn't surprising to me. That didn't alter much in any ways, cause my teacher still treated me normal, and I still passed the class both semesters and got my 10 credits, so I guess it wasn't such a big deal, mainly because I been isolated by special ed individuals more times than I count since I'm mainly given the term "normal" which is of course my goal. What about the times when I'm isolated but it turns out bad for me? This has also happened a bunch of times before, and today I want to share some of those moments, in which some are more heartbreaking than others.
This one I told before, but for my new readers, I'm just going to write about it again, also because it's one of my more recent innocents involving my family hurting my feelings, as always. Me and my sister went to my cousins house at a small city called El Serrano. My mom was running late buying a bunch of food for the huge party so we left an hour before my mom. All of my cousins, aunts, and uncles that live in southern California were supposed to be there (with the exception of my cousins, aunt, and uncle that live in Simi Valley due to work issues) and rest assure, that everyone was there when we arrived. In fact, all of my well-known family were there so early, that it made my mom who was the only one missing extremely late. My cousins all ate pizza before we arrived, so they were all inside the house playing video games. Another box of pizza was supposed to arrive in 20 minutes so me and my sister sat down on some chairs, right next to my aunts and uncles. They were all eating chicken wings, which I hate, as much as one certain uncle. One of my aunts noticed that I wasn't the only one who was eating so she asked if everything was okay. Of course, everyone stopped eating and paid their unnecessary attention towards me. I responded that I didn't like chicken wings and that I was going to wait for the pizza. A few seconds later, my uncle did something so unbelievable, I felt like tearing his face bit by bit.
He said that he doesn't like to eat anything. This is why he always stays starving. All of my aunts and uncles started to laugh at me. One of my autistic traits were the reasoning behind this and I wasn't going to let my uncle have the upper hand. As I always get mad, my face turns red like fire and my eyebrows literary cover a lot of my eyelids, that I can see my eyebrows through my eyes. Everyone noticed that I was emerging to my furious self and they were getting really scared really quick. Instantly, I got up almost collapsing the chair that I was sitting on and burst out "look who's talking! Mr. I fall on my feet every time I take a drink of beer!" I said this because about two weeks before this occurred, we had another party at another cousins house, and that same uncle took a cup of beer, which caused him to fall onto the floor and one of the nearby chairs feel right on top of him. I was hoping that all of my aunts and uncles knew why I said that, and suddenly my targeted uncle was the laughingstock of this meal. While I was looking at how embarrassed he was, judging by his facial expression, my sister pulled me down to my seat and told me rapidly "you better leave now before he does something that you'll regret!" I left towards the inside of the house and couldn't be happier, until my mom came and heard the news. I was punished for three days for talking back to my uncle. And when I was asked to say sorry to my uncle, I did something so bad, or at least to my mom eyes, which involved my middle finger and a bunch of bad words. My mom then punished me for a week and even though I know the last part was completely unnecessary, I knew that I had to defend myself to show my superiority, which attacking him with words wasn't probably my best approach.
By now if you hadn't realized, my aunts and uncles don't like me, because of who I am. More specifically, for having autism. They know that because of that, my personality is "heavily altered" when I know that's not the case, at least for me. Regardless, I still don't care one bit about any of my aunts and uncles and I always try to keep a high profile when it comes to acting normal. For whatever reason, people try to unleash my autistic side like it's their job. Another uncle that comes from Mexico to visit us once in a while, is even worst than my previous uncle. He literary makes my life a living hell, and whenever he comes, I don't even pretend to like him. Last time he came was during June, so not to long ago, so I still remember how much he tortured me. He obviously doesn't know how much I've improved, so whenever I talk back to him, he mocks me by saying "look who's finally talking" which you probably understand what that means. Whenever I get a soda or juice, he takes it away from me and says "too much sugar for someone like you." I don't like him one bit, and whenever I tell my mom about it and talks to his brother about it, he lies straight at her face and says "I wouldn't do such a thing and I love him so much." When he came December, he even gave me a $5 dollar bill right in front of my mom's face, but when she left, my uncle told me "give me the bill back!" I gave it back without even resisting, cause I don't care about him one bit.
So, that's just a few things that has happened as a result of a disability. A bunch of people tell me that having autism is just something that I am a part of, and how I shouldn't be embarrassed of having, but when they hear my life story, and how I'm dramatized for life hearing the words "I don't like you for having autism", they quickly change their minds. The worst part is, that all those bad comments about me mainly come from my own family, who are actually suppose to love me and support me, but I know that I'm going to have to continue to hear these bad comments about myself until I go off to college and begin my life, how it should be right now.
Such amazing family that I have, don't I?
This was so bad of me to do but I quickly went closer towards her laptop and before my teacher arrived, I went closer towards her laptop and quickly scrolled across the page to check everyone's ID. After I did so, no one had the code CL, LC (another type of collaboration), or SDC (a special ed student who has all special ed classes but I wasn't expecting that anyways). That in itself basically confirmed that I was the only special ed student in that class, which isn't surprising to me. That didn't alter much in any ways, cause my teacher still treated me normal, and I still passed the class both semesters and got my 10 credits, so I guess it wasn't such a big deal, mainly because I been isolated by special ed individuals more times than I count since I'm mainly given the term "normal" which is of course my goal. What about the times when I'm isolated but it turns out bad for me? This has also happened a bunch of times before, and today I want to share some of those moments, in which some are more heartbreaking than others.
This one I told before, but for my new readers, I'm just going to write about it again, also because it's one of my more recent innocents involving my family hurting my feelings, as always. Me and my sister went to my cousins house at a small city called El Serrano. My mom was running late buying a bunch of food for the huge party so we left an hour before my mom. All of my cousins, aunts, and uncles that live in southern California were supposed to be there (with the exception of my cousins, aunt, and uncle that live in Simi Valley due to work issues) and rest assure, that everyone was there when we arrived. In fact, all of my well-known family were there so early, that it made my mom who was the only one missing extremely late. My cousins all ate pizza before we arrived, so they were all inside the house playing video games. Another box of pizza was supposed to arrive in 20 minutes so me and my sister sat down on some chairs, right next to my aunts and uncles. They were all eating chicken wings, which I hate, as much as one certain uncle. One of my aunts noticed that I wasn't the only one who was eating so she asked if everything was okay. Of course, everyone stopped eating and paid their unnecessary attention towards me. I responded that I didn't like chicken wings and that I was going to wait for the pizza. A few seconds later, my uncle did something so unbelievable, I felt like tearing his face bit by bit.
He said that he doesn't like to eat anything. This is why he always stays starving. All of my aunts and uncles started to laugh at me. One of my autistic traits were the reasoning behind this and I wasn't going to let my uncle have the upper hand. As I always get mad, my face turns red like fire and my eyebrows literary cover a lot of my eyelids, that I can see my eyebrows through my eyes. Everyone noticed that I was emerging to my furious self and they were getting really scared really quick. Instantly, I got up almost collapsing the chair that I was sitting on and burst out "look who's talking! Mr. I fall on my feet every time I take a drink of beer!" I said this because about two weeks before this occurred, we had another party at another cousins house, and that same uncle took a cup of beer, which caused him to fall onto the floor and one of the nearby chairs feel right on top of him. I was hoping that all of my aunts and uncles knew why I said that, and suddenly my targeted uncle was the laughingstock of this meal. While I was looking at how embarrassed he was, judging by his facial expression, my sister pulled me down to my seat and told me rapidly "you better leave now before he does something that you'll regret!" I left towards the inside of the house and couldn't be happier, until my mom came and heard the news. I was punished for three days for talking back to my uncle. And when I was asked to say sorry to my uncle, I did something so bad, or at least to my mom eyes, which involved my middle finger and a bunch of bad words. My mom then punished me for a week and even though I know the last part was completely unnecessary, I knew that I had to defend myself to show my superiority, which attacking him with words wasn't probably my best approach.
By now if you hadn't realized, my aunts and uncles don't like me, because of who I am. More specifically, for having autism. They know that because of that, my personality is "heavily altered" when I know that's not the case, at least for me. Regardless, I still don't care one bit about any of my aunts and uncles and I always try to keep a high profile when it comes to acting normal. For whatever reason, people try to unleash my autistic side like it's their job. Another uncle that comes from Mexico to visit us once in a while, is even worst than my previous uncle. He literary makes my life a living hell, and whenever he comes, I don't even pretend to like him. Last time he came was during June, so not to long ago, so I still remember how much he tortured me. He obviously doesn't know how much I've improved, so whenever I talk back to him, he mocks me by saying "look who's finally talking" which you probably understand what that means. Whenever I get a soda or juice, he takes it away from me and says "too much sugar for someone like you." I don't like him one bit, and whenever I tell my mom about it and talks to his brother about it, he lies straight at her face and says "I wouldn't do such a thing and I love him so much." When he came December, he even gave me a $5 dollar bill right in front of my mom's face, but when she left, my uncle told me "give me the bill back!" I gave it back without even resisting, cause I don't care about him one bit.
So, that's just a few things that has happened as a result of a disability. A bunch of people tell me that having autism is just something that I am a part of, and how I shouldn't be embarrassed of having, but when they hear my life story, and how I'm dramatized for life hearing the words "I don't like you for having autism", they quickly change their minds. The worst part is, that all those bad comments about me mainly come from my own family, who are actually suppose to love me and support me, but I know that I'm going to have to continue to hear these bad comments about myself until I go off to college and begin my life, how it should be right now.
Such amazing family that I have, don't I?
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