the day it all started
When you are feeling like no one has your back, like no one understands you, it's hard to gain that confidence back, and unfortunately, that's basically the majority of the days in my life. From family members, to other people, I'm always being discriminated for my disability, despite the fact that I have gotten a 4.0 GPA, my IQ is 133, and I have been tested to reveal that my autistic characteristics are extremely low. These days, however, cannot compare to the middle of 8th grade. I felt like a fool for having autism, I felt like no one would ever see me as superior. This day altered me so much, that if it weren't for that day, I wouldn't even be writing these blogs.
If you have read my previous blogs, you should know that I passed an Honors English test which is the only way that you could make it into that class. Well, around February, the high school counselors were going to go to our school to schedule the students classes, well not the classes itself, just the subjects that they were going to take next year. I instantly became excited because I was going to be the first special ed student to enter that subject. (pervious special ed student that entered that class was 2-3 years before that date!) Who would be excited to complete such an accomplishment, I surely was, and it was even more exciting when I was waiting in line, with my paper of my chosen classes. When I was next in line, I was starting to sweat, because everything that I worked for, was going to pay off in that moment, but something unexpected was about to occur.
I was called in to take a seat with the counselors, and I felt like I was taking steps of glory. When I saw the counselors, I felt like that moment was going to be the greatest moment ever. I took a seat next to them, and the first thing they did was check the classes that I wanted to take. Once they saw my list, they then went to the list of all the Montebello intermediate students, and then they said 6 words that changed my view on everything "you can't be in Honors English." My excitement ebbed away and I said confused "wait what?" The counselor found my weakness and told me "you can't be in it because your special ed." My disability, making me look inferior once again, but this time I wasn't going to allow such thing. I then yelled out on purpose so all the counselors could hear "you mean to tell me that I took that test, worked my butt off, and passed for no reason!" They couldn't believe what they heard, I left them hanging for seconds. One of the counselors without notice placed me in regular English rather than Honors English and she took in all my other classes without notice. She then gave me the classes back and she crossed out Honors English and wrote out regular English instead. She told me "you can't be in honors English because you're special ed, and even if you did pass the test, the class will be too hard for you. I left heartbroken, that I was being discriminated yet again, but this time it did more than just mild humiliation.
Everyone, the whole school, the teachers, saw me come out of the room crying. Everyone stopped having a conversation, using their phones, or whatever to put their attention to me. I couldn't stay crying inside a room filled with all the 8th graders, so I ended up running outside the room to go and cry inside the nearby restroom. I cried inside for quite a while until I heard someone calling my name. I looked and I saw my language arts teacher calling my name. I went outside and she asked me "what's wrong?" I answered on the whole situation that has just occurred, and she said that I got to that class fair and square. She ended up talking to the counselors but she couldn't resolve it because they told my teacher that the class was going to be to hard for me. I cried for the whole day, the following day, days to come. I felt like I was going to be mistreated like this for the rest of my life, and that I wouldn't be able to make my own choices, and if I did they were going to be laid off. I told my mom what occurred at school and she went the next day to complain. Unfortunately, they didn't help me at all as the principal said that I had to show that if I get superior grades, maybe they would help me out. I cried and cried and cried because that the school saw me as some special ed kid that had a dream that would never come true. Kids flooded me with question like why was I crying, and why didn't I get in honors English. I couldn't answer the truth so I had to answer that I have no idea, they just did but I couldn't argue with someone with the upper hand. They were all confused because they were missing the last puzzle piece: I have autism.
For months, I slowly stopped feeling sorry for myself and I forgot the tragedy, but at the same time I felt vulnerable due to my disability, I felt like people basically had a one-way access to making me feel bad about myself. I had no one by my side, my friends didn't and couldn't know the truth, and I couldn't look up to the district because I was pretty sure that they knew what had occurred. I was also doing better in school by getting better grades on tests and actually doing more homework. My report card came in and I received yet another 4.0 GPA. I wasn't surprised at all, but I just wish that other could've thought the same thing. At last, one of the staff members at my school who happened to like me found away to help me get into Honors English without waiting for months. My mom went to the district building to ask for an specialized meeting that will grant me access to the class I desire. I wet to the specialized meeting with the top of the district and as planned, I was actually granted my class. I couldn't be any happier because in the end, I was able to get the class that I deserved, and that class was all I ever wanted.
Fast forward an year later, and I rocking all A's at school right now, and Honors English is actually a pretty easy class for me. The majority of the kids have B's and C's, and even D's and F's, but I'm one of the very few kids earning a A. I also realized something, how did that kid 2-3 years ago ever get into Honors English? Did he went through all the tough months? Did he get grades like me? Who was me? That is to remain a mystery, but one thing that I do want to day before I end this is that if any, and I mean ANY of you guys have a dream and even if no one has your back, you can still accomplish it because it's your life, you can do it, and there's no stopping because you have to do what you believe in.
Another end to another blog, I hope you enjoyed this blog and I also uploaded today's blog as well since this was supposed to be last week's blog but I was pretty busy with homework. Leave a comment and follow me if you want to stay tuned. As always, have a great day and days to come :).
If you have read my previous blogs, you should know that I passed an Honors English test which is the only way that you could make it into that class. Well, around February, the high school counselors were going to go to our school to schedule the students classes, well not the classes itself, just the subjects that they were going to take next year. I instantly became excited because I was going to be the first special ed student to enter that subject. (pervious special ed student that entered that class was 2-3 years before that date!) Who would be excited to complete such an accomplishment, I surely was, and it was even more exciting when I was waiting in line, with my paper of my chosen classes. When I was next in line, I was starting to sweat, because everything that I worked for, was going to pay off in that moment, but something unexpected was about to occur.
I was called in to take a seat with the counselors, and I felt like I was taking steps of glory. When I saw the counselors, I felt like that moment was going to be the greatest moment ever. I took a seat next to them, and the first thing they did was check the classes that I wanted to take. Once they saw my list, they then went to the list of all the Montebello intermediate students, and then they said 6 words that changed my view on everything "you can't be in Honors English." My excitement ebbed away and I said confused "wait what?" The counselor found my weakness and told me "you can't be in it because your special ed." My disability, making me look inferior once again, but this time I wasn't going to allow such thing. I then yelled out on purpose so all the counselors could hear "you mean to tell me that I took that test, worked my butt off, and passed for no reason!" They couldn't believe what they heard, I left them hanging for seconds. One of the counselors without notice placed me in regular English rather than Honors English and she took in all my other classes without notice. She then gave me the classes back and she crossed out Honors English and wrote out regular English instead. She told me "you can't be in honors English because you're special ed, and even if you did pass the test, the class will be too hard for you. I left heartbroken, that I was being discriminated yet again, but this time it did more than just mild humiliation.
Everyone, the whole school, the teachers, saw me come out of the room crying. Everyone stopped having a conversation, using their phones, or whatever to put their attention to me. I couldn't stay crying inside a room filled with all the 8th graders, so I ended up running outside the room to go and cry inside the nearby restroom. I cried inside for quite a while until I heard someone calling my name. I looked and I saw my language arts teacher calling my name. I went outside and she asked me "what's wrong?" I answered on the whole situation that has just occurred, and she said that I got to that class fair and square. She ended up talking to the counselors but she couldn't resolve it because they told my teacher that the class was going to be to hard for me. I cried for the whole day, the following day, days to come. I felt like I was going to be mistreated like this for the rest of my life, and that I wouldn't be able to make my own choices, and if I did they were going to be laid off. I told my mom what occurred at school and she went the next day to complain. Unfortunately, they didn't help me at all as the principal said that I had to show that if I get superior grades, maybe they would help me out. I cried and cried and cried because that the school saw me as some special ed kid that had a dream that would never come true. Kids flooded me with question like why was I crying, and why didn't I get in honors English. I couldn't answer the truth so I had to answer that I have no idea, they just did but I couldn't argue with someone with the upper hand. They were all confused because they were missing the last puzzle piece: I have autism.
For months, I slowly stopped feeling sorry for myself and I forgot the tragedy, but at the same time I felt vulnerable due to my disability, I felt like people basically had a one-way access to making me feel bad about myself. I had no one by my side, my friends didn't and couldn't know the truth, and I couldn't look up to the district because I was pretty sure that they knew what had occurred. I was also doing better in school by getting better grades on tests and actually doing more homework. My report card came in and I received yet another 4.0 GPA. I wasn't surprised at all, but I just wish that other could've thought the same thing. At last, one of the staff members at my school who happened to like me found away to help me get into Honors English without waiting for months. My mom went to the district building to ask for an specialized meeting that will grant me access to the class I desire. I wet to the specialized meeting with the top of the district and as planned, I was actually granted my class. I couldn't be any happier because in the end, I was able to get the class that I deserved, and that class was all I ever wanted.
Fast forward an year later, and I rocking all A's at school right now, and Honors English is actually a pretty easy class for me. The majority of the kids have B's and C's, and even D's and F's, but I'm one of the very few kids earning a A. I also realized something, how did that kid 2-3 years ago ever get into Honors English? Did he went through all the tough months? Did he get grades like me? Who was me? That is to remain a mystery, but one thing that I do want to day before I end this is that if any, and I mean ANY of you guys have a dream and even if no one has your back, you can still accomplish it because it's your life, you can do it, and there's no stopping because you have to do what you believe in.
Another end to another blog, I hope you enjoyed this blog and I also uploaded today's blog as well since this was supposed to be last week's blog but I was pretty busy with homework. Leave a comment and follow me if you want to stay tuned. As always, have a great day and days to come :).
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